All Out

This isn't going to be pretty.

I'm very, very tired. And, I thought the first trimester was almost over... and then I went to our first appointment at the Birth Center. The midwife said she thought I wasn't 11 weeks, more like 8. So we decided to go for an unplanned ultrasound, which showed she was right.

Apparently, when you're still nursing, it can delay ovulation pretty dramatically in your cycle (even if your cycle is regular) and throw off the dates.

Sigh.

Speaking of nursing, my almost-three-year old nursling is kind of driving me crazy.

It makes my skin crawl to nurse right now. La Leche folks said that's actually really normal at this age and during pregnancy, which does make me feel better, but it is still driving me nuts. My little girl is nowhere near ready to wean, but I'm finding myself wanting to stop. What to do?

Getting sleep has become my numero uno priority, but it's hard to come by. My daughter is not a sleeper... to say the least... and I think my sleep needs actually exceed hers right now.

And, of course, my husband's doctoral program and super-busy-ridiculous-workallthetime job as an assistant principal has geared up for the year. Which means I have exactly 2 hours-ish of downtime in a week.

I have got to find a 12 year old to come be a mother's helper!

I also need to figure out how to get my daughter to relax and play some on her own. She is so very wonderful, bright, curious, and intense. She also wants my constant interaction and total and complete attention during the day... except when the tv is on. It's very tiring.

I never thought I would be a parent who would allow more than the briefest tv watching, but I am completely embarrassed by how much we've been watching lately. I think not being able to get outside as much (105 degrees with high humidity is just too much with the nausea) is giving us way too much time with too little to fill it, except mommy the entertainer.

I'm feeling the need to make changes in our rhythm and routines, but am really unsure how I can go about it without a major battle.

This motherhood thing can be really tough.

But, on a positive note, Bug is finally sleeping all night regularly... uninterrupted sleep is amazing. AND, I'm nowhere near as sick this pregnancy as I was with my last pregnancy... which is not only great, but in my family's history it means BOY! Of course, the ultimate positive news is that this is a healthy pregnancy, which will result in another beautiful soul in the world! If only I could keep that in mind while feeling mired down!